Killer Rhymes??? or Am I just Paranoid?

I know this can be construed as another set in my long stream of random ramblings, but ever wondered why so many of the nursery rhymes we learnt as kids, feature animals or people dying, being slaughtered and otherwise inanimate objects being broken beyond repair? I was listening to an old tape of me in my early days reciting some of the rhymes I knew and it got me thinking about how the words making these poems totally contradict the natural adult tendency to shelter younglings from the big bad world around. Or is it reflective of a human being’s inherently violent nature which amidst the constant battle of duality, has to surface every now and then?

Take Humpty Dumpty for example. A humanoid egg replete with limbs, a quizzical face and a really sordid destiny.

“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!”

The poor egg (pun intended) was just sitting there on a wall, doing his thing, when he had to fall and shatter into a million pieces. The worst part is that the tragedy could not be undone in spite of all efforts to put the pieces of the eggshell back together. That reeks of sadness doesn't it?

Some explanations have been offered about the origins of the story about the egg with the deplorable fate and one of them had to do with Humpty Dumpty actually being the name of a canon used for defence purposes in the siege of Colchester in 1648 during the English Civil War. As the story goes, the canon was mounted on top of St Mary’s at the Wall Church in Colchester, which was ultimately hit by the enemy, sending the canon plummeting to the ground. Apparently all the king’s horses (cavalry) and all the king’s men (infantry) tried to fix it but it vain.

Ok, so there’s an explanation to the origin of the egg’s story. But what I fail to understand is why it was converted into a nursery rhyme to be told to children who would easily be able to relate to the bald headed egg man and his imminent death?

“Rock a bye baby” is another such rhyme with grim endings.

“Rock a bye baby on the treetop,

When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,

When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,

Down will come baby cradle and all.”

One of the explanations I found for this says that it was originally written by an English immigrant, based on his observations of the way native American-Indian women rocked their babies in birch-bark cradles, which were suspended from the branches of trees. Somehow when taught to a child without explanation of that context, the image of a baby hanging from a tree and eventually falling to the ground, may very possibly imprint itself in a child’s subconscious mind and have long lasting consequences. But then again, maybe I’m just paranoid about just how impressionable a child’s mind is.

Like the verse from Jack and the Beanstalk, which when told out of context, actually sounds scary:

“Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he 'live, or be he dead,
I'll grind his bones to make my bread.”

and may very possibly instill an anti-British sentiment early on in a child’s life or

“Goosey, goosey, gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs, and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers!
I took him by the left leg
And threw him down the stairs.”

which although painted benignly with the cute little ganders and the gooseys thrown in, may cause a child to come to believe that it is ok to hurt old men who don’t say their prayers or some such.
Of course the all time favourite:

“Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.”

seems rather harmless since it has become such a common buzzword as far as nursery rhymes go. But if thought about carefully one wonders whether it was absolutely necessary for Jack and Jill to come tumbling down the mountain with seemingly gory consequences like Jack ending up with a cracked skull. Sure one can argue that it teaches a child to be careful, and the second para of the rhyme,

“Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper
Went to bed And plastered his head
With vinegar and brown paper.”

promotes self-sufficiency, street-smart and quick action in case of life troubles. But come to think of it, how many kids actually know/recite the second verse, let alone think of the subtle meanings behind the words?

Of course nurturing tender feeling towards animals, suffers just as much in some of these rhymes.

“Ding, dong, bell,Pussy's in the well.
Who put her in?Little Johnny Green.
Who pulled her out?Little Tommy Stout.
What a naughty boy was that,To try to drown poor pussy cat,
Who never did him any harm,And killed the mice in his father's barn.”

Sure the rhyme establishes the cat as a friend to man-an animal that should not be hurt since it tends to provide a service to man by catching the mice that plague him. Sure fat Tommy emerges a hero having pulled the cat out. But here I ask, was there any reason to put the cat into the well in the first place? Couldn’t there have been a poem or song which talked about the wondrous/unique traits of felines? A recitation which promoted not only love for the animal but also respect towards it,simply because it’s the right thing to do? Am I being too paranoid again?

I don’t think I am and my opinion about the inherent morbidity of traditional nursery rhymes was cemented when I recalled the one about the pig with the unfortunate fate:

"Piggy on the railway line,
Picking up stones,
Along came an engine
And broke poor Piggy's bones.
"Oh" said Piggy,
"That's not fair"
"Oh" said the Engine,
"I don't care"

Need I say more? I don’t think I have to expand the “I don’t care” attitude being introduced to children at the beginnings of their lives, and what it can do to them growing up. It’s surely not the whole cause of the negativities in the world today, but definitely evident in the crimes committed by children against animals, and adults against fellow human beings.

All I have to say is that nursery rhymes in my opinion should be more benign, more positive. They should make the child wonder and be in awe of the beauty of life that surrounds them. Children should want to live and be good and do good when they learn their first words in life. I have often heard and I certainly believe that children are the closest reflections of God that we can ever witness. Guileless, pure in heart and free in spirit, children are flowers which need tending and careful nurturing. The ill-behaved children we see around us are not to blame-it’s the upbringing that makes them what they are. And the same goes for the well behaved, well moulded ones.

Make up better rhymes people, if you want to start off successfully on the path to creating a future filled with good human beings. It’s a long and arduous path. But the results are well worth it I believe. Or am I just being paranoid?

ps : the views expressed in this article are the author’s alone and in no way mean to hurt, insult or injure rhyme composers worldwide.

Life on Wheels - Rollerblading with Kartik

I knew Kartik in school. He used to be an ubercute chubby, dimpled little chap then. And then I met him again in June. He's still cute, very much dimpled, only now lankier past expectations and two people taller than me. It’s been a long time since SVPV and I am thrilled to realize that like most of the little guy pals of my early years, Kartik has also grown to be a gentleman. Although I did get to meet his alterego too ("Kratikman" as per data from a reliable source aka A Morye) and waddaya know! K'man is incorporated right into his regular personality!!!!

When he first messaged me on gtalk and told me he was coming to Singapore, I admit to having had some mixed emotions. I never knew him closely in school and various questions arose in my mind: How had he turned out? Khadoos? Nice? Queer like me? What was it going to be like meeting after so many years? Would it be awkward? etc…

But I soon realized, that the chap had such an easygoing personality, it was only natural to get comfortable with him and within an hour of meeting him in June, for the first time in so many years, we were gabbing as if no time had passed at all. Of course Suji (Sujith)-one of my oldest and bestest pals during school, was also there and that did make a difference. There we were-three old school buddies, hogging north Indian grub, chatting, gossiping about everything and everybody we knew, reliving every little memory we shared, strolling along the banks of the Singapore river soaking in the nightlife blaring around us and in general “hanging out” after what I had earlier thought would seem like an eternity.



Kartik was supposed to leave in a few weeks but his stay got extended and the three of us went out for an evening of more memory sharing, subway sandwiches and amateur pool playing. I am a horrible pool player but hanging out with the guys was like being reverse bungeed back into a time when life was simpler and dreams were fresh. I would have stayed to go bowling too (I was certainly attired and energized for it), but the long prospective wait made me say my goodbyes.

Kartik stayed on in Singapore longer than he expected and last Sunday he finally agreed to go rollerblading with me. We tried to rope Suji into our nefarious plans but he was wise enough to decline and opted to go partying instead (LOL). Anyways, K Mani came home and me, Sush, Kartik and the Schma Dawg headed out to the East Coast Park (ECP) where Kartik and I rented out our rollerblades and protective gear.

But we soon realized that it really had been ages since we had rollerbladed last and after Kartik fell a couple of times and I was compelled to sit down a couple of times to soothe my aching feet, the fact that we had gotten older did hit us somewhere inside.

But the fact that I was rollerblading with an old pal made me feel for a bit that I had gotten a piece of my past back when Suji and I used to spend our entire summer vacations whizzing around on our skates like crazy people breathing the free air and “living” tension free lives. I was grateful for that experience in the midst of my grown up life.

So we rollerbladed for an hour and sat on the beach for some more time before heading home. Kishmish loved his time on the beach with us, but then he always does.

He certainly was happy about having Kartik around and Kartik meanwhile was on the receiving end of the much coveted Schma love :-)

After we got home, we chatted some more over dinner. I was satisfied to have been able to feed a pal with food I cooked myself (that’s something none of my chuddy buddies would ever believe I could do).

Life is a roller coaster. We all live our lives and get caught up in our worlds. And life whizzes by. I know it’s kind of a cliché to say that one should take the time out to stop and stare. It is not always practically possible to do so in the middle of the fast paced lives we lead. But it is possible to live each day like it were the last (another cliché), treasure the memories as they build up and keep one’s eyes open to pieces of the past when they do waltz into the present, and enjoy them while they last.

Was really great hanging out with you guys. Let’s do it again sometime. Next time: ice skating at Kallang? What say?

Book Review-Shreyasi Majumdar

Pain in the Neck? Could be TMS

Book Review: Healing Back Pain-The Mind-Body Connection
Author: Dr John E Sarno, MD
Publisher: Warner Books
First Edition: February 1991
Price: USD 13.99 (INR 674)
Number of Pages: 193

In this detailed sequel to his first book Mind Over Back Pain first published in 1984, Dr J Sarno explains the concept of Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) as the major cause of back and neck pain. He demonstrates how patients with common back ailments can identify the emotional roots of the pain and heal themselves permanently without exercise, surgery or drugs.

Although contemporary medical science would fiercely oppose any theory that has to do with a psychological relation to bodily anomalies, “Healing Back Pain” might make the rigid medical community think twice about the conventional causes and cures of back ailments.

Introduction:

TMS has to do with the manifestation of emotional and psychological conditions in the soft tissue surrounding the spine and consequently emerging as the major cause for pain in the neck, shoulder, back, buttocks and limbs. Although the painful yet benign syndrome is brought on mainly by stress, the cause can be a wide range of latent emotional issues.

Dr Sarno suggests that the acceptance and treatment of TMS as a legitimate syndrome TMS may be deemed a “holistic” approach because unlike conventional medicine, TMS is treated not by addressing the symptoms, but by identifying them and then treating the underlying cause rooted in emotional and psychological factors. Having faced negative attention from his contemporaries himself, he backs up his claim with many testimonials at the end of the book, from TMS affected patients that he successfully cured.

The Four W’s:

Who -TMS is a cradle-to-grave disorder affecting people of all ages. However on a general note, people between 30-60 years of age have been found to be the most affected. Since this age group is also the “maximum stress” group with most responsibility, stress is accepted as the most common cause of TMS.

Where - As the name suggests, the most affected soft tissue in TMS are muscle (myo) and also peripheral nerves. In some cases, there can be accompanying pain in tendons or ligaments, which tends to disappear once the back pain is treated.

What - TMS usually occurs as a sudden acute attack with an excruciating pain most commonly affecting the lower back and buttocks. However many people also report a gradual beginning to the pain, which is usually localized in the neck and shoulders to later move further down the back.

When - Acute or slow, the timing of the pain can only be determined by the patients’ psychological state at the time, with a physical incident acting merely as a trigger. He explains a delayed onset reaction wherein a person sails through tough stressful times without a hiccup, but develops TMS later due to the accumulated anxiety.

Psychology and Physiology

In an attempt to stress his point about TMS being a psychological phenomenon rather than a structural aberration in the spine or muscle deficiency, Sarno does tend to get rather repetitive. But he gets the point across.

Repressed unacceptable emotions which give rise to tension and physical or emotional stress are two of the major causes of TMS. Differentiating between the conscious and unconscious mind and keeping a safe distance from psychiatric jargon, Sarno reflects on how various psychological factors such as low self-esteem, narcissism, fear, anxiety, anger and unnatural repression of natural traits will at some point or the other cause the body to retaliate and defend itself-consequently manifesting as back pain.

As for the physiology of TMS, the basics are already pointed out in the first chapter. Although the explanation is a bit heavy with a lot of medical terms, in a nutshell, the physiology of TMS can be said to be represented by certain emotional states that cause mild oxygen deprivation of the abovementioned soft tissues. This dearth of oxygen is the primary cause for the pain, sensory abnormalities and muscle control deficits.

Talk to your brain

The treatment of TMS is as non-linear as the concept itself with the focus being on understanding the nature of the disorder and training oneself to act on it and change the brain’s behavior. Simply being aware of the potential psychological causes of the pain and telling one’s brain that one is not helpless and intimidated can actually cause the pain to go away. Such is the power of volition.

Sarno also urges patients to get over fears of the pain relapses, to resume all kinds of normal physical activity including the more rigorous ones as well as discontinue all physical treatment or therapy. However he is very careful to mention in various instances throughout, that the book is not meant for self diagnosis but is merely an introduction to a newly discovered syndrome. He clearly states that TMS should be diagnosed and treated only after a thorough medical exam of the back has been conducted yielding no conclusive evidence of spinal aberrations.
As an important part of the treatment, Sarno asks patients to review daily reminders of what TMS actually is and list out possible causes for the syndrome.

Overall, I would say the book is a bold venture into a realm which is still not considered “solid” medicine owing to its subtle nature. However Dr Sarno’s reputation as a professor of Clinical Rehabilitation Medicine at the NYU School of Medicine, and attending physician at the Howard A Rusk Institute of Rehabilitation Medicine at NYU Medical Centre, his many years of research into the syndrome and the large number of patients who have benefited from his work, certainly adds credibility to the book.

If you are suffering from any of the symptoms mentioned, if you are brave enough to try something out-of-the-box, if you have an open mind and if you wish to heal yourself naturally, this book may serve as a potentially explorable avenue for a safe alternative remedy to back pain.

Veena ben

I first heard about Veena ben when I came to Singapore post marriage in December 2003. Sushil had referred to her in passing as “the lady who supplies the daily dubba to all the bachelors in Sun Microsystems” She was just a name to me then and I was much too preoccupied being “married” to delve into the nitty gritties of who Veena Ben was. It didn’t matter in any case since I would be sending Sushil his lunchbox henceforth. I could already see Veena Ben become a name in the distant past as I became the official “cook” as far as my husband was concerned. It is only now that I realize my folly in overestimating my own capabilities, underestimating her’s and dismissing the importance of the role she played in the lives of so many young men.

Veena ben is an elderly lady most probably in her fifties now. It is not an unknown fact that Indian men are brought up to become accustomed to Indian food (among other things) and it is especially difficult for them (especially the vegetarians) to adapt to local food available in predominantly meat loving countries such as Singapore. As such, Veena ben has always been the lifeline supporting the helpless Indian bachelors working in the Chai Chee area, providing them with their daily spread and making them feel at home in a foreign country.

Being a traditional Gujarati lady, her food has the distinct Gujju touch which makes it extremely delicious and an instant hit among people from all parts of India. Not that she can’t cook north or south Indian food-but her Gujarati dishes are par excellence. And she has always made it a point to treat her loyal followers to a special surprise treat every Friday. True enough even Sush has always refused to take a home cooked meal to office on Fridays because he did not want to miss out on the special Friday treat. There came a time when I began wonder why Sush would rave so much about another woman’s cooking when his own wife was fast becoming such a good cook (attempting not to boast). The answer came to me one day when I fell ill and couldn’t bring myself to cook. When Sushil suggested that he ask Veena ben for an extra lunch box for me, I must admit I was relieved at the prospect of not having to cook and I hastily agreed. The lunchbox arrived promptly and I opened it only to be amazed by the plethora of foodstuffs that were made to fit into the little Styrofoam box. There were three chapattis, a heap of rice, a bowl of dal, subji in one small compartment, salad in the other, papad in a plastic bag and a tiny little container filled with lemon pickle-all neatly packed in and reeking of experience and many years of refining the art of cooking. Of course once I tasted the food, it became clear why these men were so loyal to Veena ben. The food in one word could be described as DELICIOUS. And at SGD4/box, it was well worth it. Also, the fact that it was a complete meal, only cemented the undying loyalty. So much so that all the men, married or unmarried never stopped buying lunch from her to the best of my knowledge. In fact one guy I know has moved home twice just to be around Veena ben, when she had to move home too. He recently went to India and brought back a wonderful wife who is Veena Ben’s latest fan. She “hangs” with her often and cannot stop talking about the person, her genuine concern for her “boys” and her artistic culinary talents.

Another thing that has always struck me about Veena Ben is her penchant for kind words and goodwill. I am personally not close to her, but she has never failed to keep in touch or ask after my health when I have been ill. In all my five years of knowing her and her faithful maid, I have found her to be the epitome of stability-someone to be relied upon and someone who is never short of kind words and selfless behaviour.

She recently called a couple of her most loyal troupe home (including me and Sush) for dinner and that’s where I met her wonderful family. Her two sons, one of whom possesses the same artistic tendency which he uses in his work as a furniture designer-and her husband who turned out to be one of the most jovial, experienced and bubbly personalities I have met. Plus he is a trader by profession which got me talking to him easily about the steel and iron ore trade-something that I deal with on a day to day basis. Added to that was Ajit uncle’s "Bangali" characteristics which he picked up during his long stint in West Bengal. His Bengali is easily more fluent than my own, and the common ground did get us comfortably chatting with each other like pals of old.

Of course the good conversation and pleasant ambience was just a precursor to the awesome multi course dinner that Veena ben had prepared. Pooris, aamras, Gujarati kadhi, rice, baingal aaloo subji, cauliflower subji, mouth watering methi wadis, four kinds of pickles and a beautifully done up salad. Apparently she had prepared Chaat as a starter, but we missed it on account of our late arrival. I had promised myself that I would go easy but suffice it to say that by the time we went home, we were so stuffed that we could barely walk.

I have often thought to myself what makes Veena ben’s food so good and so sought after. Sure experience accounts since years of cooking has honed her skills. And one cannot discount the latent artistic tendency that she obviously possesses in abundance. But come to think of it, that is never enough to obtain the results she gets. She cooks to please-both herself and the hungry mouths she feeds. And it’s not a daily grind for her-she thoroughly enjoys what she does. Most importantly-she cares. And isn’t that the most coveted ingredient of all?

------- Shreyasi M.